My father would beat me, which was happening since I can remember, so I had a hate for men in my family. I became a very angry teenager, and couldn't trust family. I couldn't stop thinking of all those memories.
it was the most painful moment in my life, the moment where the question Why just has no answer. I 9nly then started to realise what the #$ happened to me. after the first few images of a man, doing what was done to me, but to a woman. They would say wait till you see what's on this, you're going to be amazed! I took the disk home and opened it on the pc. During that time of growth, when I hit 13 years old and friends were sharing floppy disks with pyrography on it I grabbed me one, as a kid totally curious about what my friends knew that I didn't yet.
after he finally left to boarding school I was free from it, but the beatings from my father continued up until I grew much bigger than my father. I remember the taste, I remember the feeling of his hands behind my head, I remember choking, I remember barely being able to catch my breath. I remember details that make me feel so weird when thinking about it. He never penetrated me from the back but I do believe he tried. as a kid I didn't know what was going on, I just wanted to be close to my big brother. the memory of it starting, or how many times it happened is unclear. I can't believe I said I wanted to be just like him. super rare for siblings to both get it when nobody in the family has it (including all relatives). 2 years later I became a type 1 diabetic myself. When I was around 3, my older brother became a type 1 diabetic and I remember clearly saying I want to be just like my older brother.